Playing with your child is how you can teach them crucial developmental milestones including: emotional rules, social skills and language. Saying you can't play is one of the hardest things to feel and admit.
I would know. I was there, weeks had gone by and I couldn't recall the last time I had actually sat down and asked my son T what he wanted to do. I had spent the entire work week getting through the evening routines, dinner, cleaning, laundry, bedtime. I was often sweating and exhausted when I feel into bed at the end of the day. Sitting and playing with my boys had not crossed my mind as anything that was on my never ending to do list. I had given up this special time to bond. The time to just be there with each other and enjoy eachother's company.
Why is it so hard to play?
1. Time
Too little time and so much to do. Solution: take your phone out set the timer for 10 minutes, now put your phone on airplane mode. You can now give your child your undivided attention playing for 10 minutes. Until your timer dings you will not look at the door, your watch, your messages, or listen to the TV. You will be tuned in to your child and what they are interested in doing.
2. Your child just doesn't seem Interested
You can play all day but if your child isn't interested in what you are doing all seems lost. One minute you are playing blocks and the next minute he is running down the hallway. He seems to say I want to do something else and you are left feeling like a play failure. Wondering how am I supposed to play when he wont stay with me? Here is how, just being there and observe your child. Follow your child down the hall and comment on what they are doing. This "being there" says so much to your child. Without any words you say "I care about what you are doing, I don’t want to do anything other than be with you. What you want to do, I want to do." You want your child to find interest in what you are doing. However, you need to show him you are interested in what he is doing first so he can learn to do the same.
3. There are too many distractions
The laundry buzzes. The house phone is ringing. The dishwasher is leaking and the windows, have they ever been washed? Now it is time to get out of the house, or go to one room and pledge to close the door and leave the chores for another time. When sitting and playing a game in the middle of the Livingroom doesn't work because you can't turn of the TV or tune in to your child it is time to pick another spot to play.
Along with any of these reasons you can add the strategy, follow your child's lead. Put simply you want to see what your child is interested in and follow up on his interest by commenting or adding to his interest with play.
